The Lion Queen, Going round the concrete jungle V: Noa - Third Part

And so...
D- Mm... I see... But... He didn't even send you a text message?
T- Well, actually, no. I don't know what's the problem with your brother...
D- It's just that... You see, Noa forgets about things... He lives in his own world, and, I don't think that he doesn't like you, I mean... You're a beautiful girl, you're clever, funny, you have really good taste in music... I don't believe that he could forget about you...
I totally blushed at that moment...
T- Well... haha, thanks, you're pretty kind with me. Anyway, if Noa forgot about me... That's it. I won't make myself any problems. I mean, it's not the first time that a guy says he's gonna call me, and then... BOOM, he dissappears. So, I'm totally fine.
D- Okay... But... If you give me your number, I promise you that I WILL CALL YOU.
T- Hahaha, what? Is that a proposition? Are you testing me?
D- Well, I wouldn't call it a test... or a proposition. Let's just say that's an advancement of the next time that we'll see each other. Do you want to?
T- Mmm... sure, I like being with you, I like you.
D- I like you too. But right now, I gotta run. So, I'll see you next time Tangerine... Believe me, it was REALLY nice to meet you... And believe this too: I WON'T FORGET ABOUT YOU.
He kissed me on the cheek, paid the drinks, and got out from the bar.
I stared at the door like five minutes, after he had gone.
And then, when I was entering in my car... He appeared from nowhere, he grabbed me from my waist and gave me the best passionate kiss I ever had.
I felt like a godess, like the most interesting and perfect girl in the world. I felt really pretty. And after he kissed me, he stared at my face... as if he were in love with me or something. A warm sense ran all over my body, and all I did was saying to him: 'I really like you, see you next time pretty boy Dean.'
When I finally arrived at home... I was floating in big, white, soft clouds. I mean, the feeling of 'butterflies inside your stomach'? It was pretty close to it.
But well... That night, I had the best sleep time ever.
All thanks to the pretty boy Dean.

But still there was something in my head that was bothering me: what the fuck happened with Noa?

The Lion Queen, Going Round the Concrete Jungle V: Noa - Second Part

Well... After the night I met Noa... (and he took me home, and kissed me at my doorstep, and after I gave him my number)... I spent about two weeks, approximately, waiting for his call.
But, guess what? HE DIDN'T CALL. And I started wondering... Hey, what was going on? Wasn't he interested on me? Did we spent a great night together... or I just imagined it? Wow, wow, wow. I wasn't that crazy (yet).
I started thinking... that maybe he had lost my number... or that he was really busy... But, wait, busy with what? He was a drummer! 'A musician is never too busy for a woman', I told myself. So, what was happening?
Well, it was friday... a really cold one, I have to say. And I was alone, in my department... OH GOD, I was getting so fucking crazy, that I took my cigarettes, my car keys, the most greatest album ever: Led Zeppelin IV... and got out from my place. I got into my Baby Blue (the '67 Impala) and started to drive around the lovely city of Manhattan.
And after 20 minutes of driving, I ended at the bar where I met Noa.
So, can you imagine it? There he was! Sitting at the bar, like the last time I saw him.
My first reaction was to ignore him... So, I went to the other side of the bar, and I ordered a beer. When he saw me, his eyes seemed like... confused? I didn't knew if he was asking himself if he knew me from somewhere, or if he was just stoned, or drunk... who knows?
But... I started to feel a little pissed... You know? He was acting as if I wasn't there. And that was making me mad.
An hour later, after I almost scream to him in front of everyone in that bar... He got up, and headed for the exit...
At that moment, a wave of anger came into my head. I got up as quick as the roadrunner, and headed the exit at the same time I was paying the beer.
Outside, he was really calmed, smoking a cigerette... And all I could think to do then was to confront him and ask him what was his problem.
At the same time I was speaking... really loudly, I have to admit. He stared at me as if I were a fucking stranger. And said:
N- Hey, hey, hey... What are you trying to say? I don't understand you!
T- Oh... I'm sorry, let me start again... WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?
N- What do you mean, you crazy girl?
T- What do I mean? We had a really nice conversation two weeks ago... you took me to my department, asked for my number, and you kissed me! And now you ignore me? What's going on with you? And I'm the crazy?!
N- Wow, WHAT? That I what? I think you're confusing me with someone else...
T- Come on Noa, you're a big boy... aren't you? If you don't want to see me, and you regret of what you did... you can say it. At least be honest with me.
N- Noa?? Hahaha! Wait, I'm not Noa.
T- Oh my... This is the last straw, you're such a baby. Can't even accept what you did?
N- No, no. Wait, I'm not Noa... He's my brother. We're twins!
T- This is too embarrassing, even for you, Noa. Goodbye, you loser!
N- Wait!! I can show you! Look, here's a picture in my cellphone! For real! Hey, girl, wait! At least, come and see it for yourself!
I thought... Oh my God, what the fuck. What does it matter?
N- Really, come and see.
T- Alright, you liar. Let me see.
And for my surprise, there it was... A picture of Noa and his twin brother...
N- You see?
T- I'm really sorry, I thought you were Noa... And... And... Oh fuck, I feel so embarrassed right now. I'm sorry. Is just that... I met your brother two weeks ago... We talked for a long time, and then he took me to my home, and promised to call me. But... he didn't, and I felt like shit. Well, I'm sorry, I better go home...
N- Wait! No problem. Hey, would you like to drink something? And we can talk about your situation with my stupid brother...
T- I don't know... I shouldn't...
N- Come on, just one drink. And then you can run to your home, hahaha.
T- Sure... And, what's your name? I can't call you Noa for ever, haha.
N- Haha, you're right. I'm Dean.
T- Nice name...
And we went into the bar, once again. He ordered two beers... And we started talking, about Noa... music... interests... and, you know, things. Dean was the picture of Noa, they were equal.
But I have to say that he was a little more funny than Noa. Dean was a really nice guy too...

The Lion Queen, Going round the concrete jungle V: Noa - First Part

Well, Noa was, PERFECT. He was all I ever wanted. I met him the night I went for a walk and a cigarette... the truth is, that I went to a bar, and when I walked in, there he was, with his lonely eyes, and, his beatiful hair, and his black jacket, he looked as a rockstar. It was love at first sight. He looked at me, and smiled, and then he said:
N-Hey, I can't deny it, you're way too special, and I have to say it, you are the most beatiful girl I ever saw.
I blushed.
T-... Thanks, you're very nice.
N-You're a little bit cold, I have to admit.
T-What? You don't even know me...
I wasn't going to give up so early.
N-Well, I have all night to know you...
I blushed the twice this time.
N-Can I buy you a drink?
T-Sure...
N-What do you want?
T-Mm... A Sex on the Beach, please.
N-Mm, I love that...
OKAY, this guy was more than I was expecting, he was great.
N-So, what's your name?
T-Samantha... But everybody calls me Tangerine. What's yours?
I don't know why I answered this, I used to say "Tangerine" to everyone, why was I going to give him my real name?
N-Nice name, both of them, I mean. I'm Noa. And I'd rather call you Sam, I'm not "everyone". And why do people call you Tangerine?
T-Well, because of my hair... It's suposed that a tangerine looks at that colour... And, because of "Clementine"...
N-Who?
T-"Clementine"?
N-...
T-"Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind"? With Jim Carrey, and Kate Winslet? Huh?
N-I'm sorry, I haven't seen that movie...
T-Oh, you haven't seen nothing yet!
N-Haha, you're funny.
I blushed, again.
T-Thanks...
We talked almost all night long, about everything... Noa was in a punk rock band, he was the drummer... He was 20-years-old, single, his zodiac sign was Leo, his favorite band was LED ZEPPELIN, his favorite food was pizza, he hated fake people, and loved the weird people... He had a cat, a its name was Nirvana... And he was the most beatiful and exciting guy that I had met in ages.
T-So, I better go to sleep...
N-Are you tired?
T-A little... And tomorrow, I have to get up early, well, today...
N-Ah... me too.
T-Hahaha, we're slaves of the system.
N-Sure... Hey, I didn't ask you, boyfriend?
T-Of course not, I'm a free bird.
N-If I leave you tomorrow, would you still remember me?
T-Lynyrd Skynyrd, impressive.
N-And so... "free bird", will I see you again?
T-Well, If you take my to my doorstep, I'll give you my number.
N-Easy ride...
T-I was born to be wild. Hahaha.
N-Sure, I'll take you home.
He insisted on paying the drinks, and he took me home on his motorcycle. Lucky me, I had left my '67 Impala at home.
When we got to my doorstep, I wasn't sure about what would happen...
N-So, here it is, your home.
T-Yeah, home sweet home. Thanks for the ride.
N-Will you give me your number? Well, actually it's stupid, because I know where you live... Hahaha.
T-Riiight, so, I won't give you my number.
N-Hey hey hey, I was kidding... Haha, please, I'd love to talk again with you...
T-Sure...
And I gave him my number... And not just that, he stole me, a kiss.

The Lion Queen, Going round the concrete jungle IV: All Alone - Part Two

So, I still was ALL ALONE. And I wasn't happy... Well, what's happiness? I was... like a plant... Green, shiny, neutral, calmed. (A plastic plant, of course).
And... Well, actually, there's not much to say about my lonely days, the thing is that, i was ALL ALONE. (Note: I thought I was going crazy).
My activities were:
Sleeping, eating, watching tv, playing the guitar, singing, eating, sleeping, sleeping, sleeping.

YEAH, MY LIFE WAS A DISASTER, YOU DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT. I KNOW IT, YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME, ALL ALONE, YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT ME HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE, DON'T YOU? HA? YEAH YEAH YEAH, "OH, HERE'S ANOTHER STORY OF TANGERINE AND HER LOVERS, OH, FASCINATING! WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NOW? IS THE MAN AN HOMOSEXUAL AGAIN? OR IS HE A CRAZY GUY? OH, I HOPE THIS TO BE FUNNY!"
Sure, sure, sure... you don't care about how I feel, everytime that I break up with some guy... YOU'RE ALL SHIT!


Mm, I'm sorry, I'm a little bit disturbed about my life. I'm going for a walk,and a cigarette, and... I'll write you later. Bye...



PS: I WILL find a man! I promise!

The Lion Queen, Going round the concrete jungle IV: All alone - Part One

Well... This was ugly, really ugly... Nothing like this happened to me before. I mean, I didn't know he was gay! And... AND, he kissed me, so, WHAT THE FUCK WAS HAPPENING?

Allright, take control Tangerine, calm down.

And, okay, back to the begining... I was, totally and irrevocably (AND naturally)... ALONE. Yeah, I wasn't afraid to say that word, because, actually, I was alone, and nothing was going to change that. (Nothing or no one).

But Jesus Christ! What was I going to do? I didn't have something to entertain with,wait! I'm not saying that my life revolved around men, but they were a bit to make it more fun. Yeah, I had my friends, and music, and a lot of nights to play happily with my band. But was all this going to keep me entertained?

(Let me tell you, I'm SURE AS HELL, that it wasn't going to be enough... But well, it was all I had, and I had to conform with it.)And well, I created an activity to entertain myself as long as I didn't have any guy.

Do you wanna know what was it?

A JOURNAL! Fucking shit! A journal! It never passed through my mind, I had never written in a journal... And, well, this was one of my occurrences.
So, the journal was a little creepy, I mean, if someone would read it, he or she, would automatically stay away from me... And well, here it is, some of my written:

Day One without any men:
Dear Diary, today my neighbour's cat came in through my balcony window... I was softly listening to The Beatles, when he jumped over my head. And there we were, looking each other... And at last, I smiled and told him "Hi". The cat looked at me, and got close, so, we listened to The Beatles together.

Day Two without any men:
Diary, this was the worst day of my life! I felt really bad all the fucking day! And that fucking cat came in through my balcony window once again! I shouted at him, and he just ran away. I went to my balcony, and shouted for a while to my upstairs neighbour. He threatened to call the police, I just told him to fuck up, and I entered to my department.

Note: I would kill my neighbour, but he's so handsome...

Day Three without any fucking men:
Fucking Diary, I still feel really bad! My neighbour complained to the charge about me and all the things I said to him. He told them that I threw an ashtray to his department... But I didn't! Well... yes, I did threw something, but it wasn't an ashtray! I wouldn't threw an ashtray, and you all know it! Don't you?... Well, I gotta meet with my best friend at the Blues Café. So, I'll see you later.

Note: I gotta buy a new ashtray.

Day Four without any men:
Dear Diary, forget about the last two days... I was about to have my period... I feel really good now, I've bought a lot of chocolate and ice cream. A lot of chewing gum, and I'm feeling really calmed. Today I asked my upstairs neighbour to come and drink some tea with me. He brought his sympathetic cat, and now I know my upstairs neighbour's name! His name is Luke, as the drummer of my band! His cat name's Homer, and he's really friendly. Luke and I made peace, and now we're... "friends"? Whatever... He asked me to go someday to his department and watch some movies.

Note: My upstairs neighbour, is a pervert, he stared at my legs too many times.

Day Five without any men:
Dear Diary, I was totally right about my neighbour! He's a pervert! He has a lot of pornographic dvds in his department! When he told me to go to his department, he was inviting me to go and watch pornographic films! And he's Zoophylic! Now I know why he likes so much his cat! My God, this day was totally terrible. I hope to find a guy IMMEDIATELY!

Note: My upstairs neighbour is not a pervert, he's really kind and everything, he's not a zoophylic, and he didn't invited me to watch pornographic films... The thing is that he's really boring. HE INVITED ME TO SEE PS: I LOVE YOU! WHAT THE FUCK?

And everything else, we can ignore it, can't we?

The Lion Queen, Going round the concrete jungle III: Sam-Part Two

So, Sam was better than the last time I saw him. Now he was a man, not a boy. And he had a strange style that called my attention.

Now, inside the department, I helped him to accommodate his stuff. And, of course, told him about the great Manhattan events... I mean, the guy should know about them...

Wow, that would be awesome! Where are we going tonight Tan?-It sounded like the first time in a long time he was going dancing, or to an event.

Well, there's a theme party of the eighties... Are you interested?-Please say yes, please!

Sure! I love theme parties!

YEAH! It was my first score of the night! This was getting great, for the end of the night, I would have Sam in my bed. And that would be "awesome"!

So, now, all I had to do was get dressed for the party.

And well, we should summarize the party part, you know? There's nothing very interesting to say... The only thing I could say is that Sam kissed me... two or three times. And nothing more.

Well, that night, I drank a lot of tequila... So things seem a little... fuzzy to me. All I remember was Sam talking to me, and when he took me home.

Wow, things were a little agitated that night, weren't they?

So... you really wanna know what happened? Well, I could tell you... or not. Could I?

Laugh out loud. It's a joke. I can't stop right there and leave you all like that... it's a perversion. And I'll continue with the story, here it goes:

The morning after, I woke up in my bed, WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES. And because of that, I thought I had wild sex or something like that with Sam. So... I got between the sheets, and used them as clothes. I got up from bed, and walked to the room that I designated to Sammy. But when I got into the room... I surprised, maybe too much... You wanna know?

Sam...Sam...SAM WAS GAY! He was gay! I found him, sleeping, with two guys, ALL NAKED!

With that scene, or image, or whatever, staring at my face, I couldn't hold on, and I started screaming...

I have to admit that Sam's body was excellent... But it doesn't really matter, because SAM WAS GAY!

And well, partners... It all stops there. If you wanna know, I sent him to his home. I mean, the guy used me, he kissed me the night before, and now he's gay? WHAT THE FUCK! I told him, to never ever kiss me again, and I told him not to play with a woman's emotions. Specially mine.

By Morena Tangerine Romero.

The Lion Queen, Going round the concrete jungle III: Sam-Part One

Alone, once again... Natural, totally natural. As if I were cursed or something. I was able to cope the situation I passed with Jude. And, my department, was full of conversations, non-significant words, and a lot of cigarette smoke... or smell should I say?Whatever... two weeks after my "break" with Jude, an old boyfriend called me. It was Sam, one of my firsts boyfriends... Sam was... special? I don't know, he had something. Of course, he was totally intelligent. Because when I was younger, I used to spend my time with clever people. Well, let's go to the point: I was a freak. And Sam was a rare, an intelligent and vague one. You know, the kind that are always making themselves piercings, tattoos and things like that, people who live in their own worlds, and listen to bands like Nirvana, and The Velvet Underground & Nico... Do you know what I mean? Never mind. The thing is... I loved Sam, he was funny, and we were more like brothers, or friends, or, whatever... We used to spend a lot of time together, my mother loved him(Because of the school califications and all that, moreover, he was a very nice guy).
Okay, back to where we started... He called me, telling me he was coming to Manhattan (if you didn't know, I live in Manhattan, New York) and actually, asked me to stay a few days at my department. Of course I said... YES! How was I going to say no? (Note: My mind told me a lot of hurting words, for saying "yes" to Sam's question... You know, two weeks ago, I had a very bad situation with Jude, I didn't need a new one...) And well, Sam was coming to my home. He was going to stay, and as far as I knew, he didn't have a girlfriend.
It was Friday, and we were in full summer. Sam called me, at... six p.m., telling me he was near to my department. And fuck... You know how silly I am. I wasn't prepared to receive him, I had forgotten of all that day, and I had a little time to dream in the afternoon. So, I got up as quick as a rocket, I had a shower... and... OH MY GOD! I didn't know what to wear! Fucking shit! Allright, this was easy... I only had a few minutes untill Sam came to my doorstep. And, well, ladies and gentleman, here is the living reflection from a dream: Miss Tangerine. I showed up at the door when he called me. And there he was... Perfect, intelligent, rare, vague, as ever. The old and unforgettable Sammy.
Hey Tangerine, long time since the last time I saw you... You look... beatiful, as ever.-Was this real? Was this MY Sammy? And was he really saying to me all those things?!
Sam...Yeah, it's been a long time. You look pretty too... I've missed you, Sammy.-"I've missed you"? Okay, here I go again with my stupid comentaries.
I've missed you too Tan, France doesn't compare with your lovely Manhattan, and none of the french women compares with you.-Alright, he was worst than me... But, the problem was that I knew myself, and he didn't.

And there we were, at my doorstep, in the lovely night light of my lovely Manhattan. Two former lovers, two strangers who knew each other. My new adventure was there.

By Morena Tangerine Romero.-

The Lion Queen, Going round the concrete jungle II: Jude

Jude's guitar.

I could stay all my life like this, here... in bed, with you, staring at your face, watching the way your lips move... It seems like the perfect moment.-He said.

And a wave of thoughts passed through my mind, wondering, could he be more perfect?

Don't tell me those things, you're making me fall in love with you...-I said, and I don't really know how I got to that point... I mean, "you're making me fall in love with you"? What was that? Not a thing I would say.

Tange, do you love me?

OKAY, let's make a stop. "Do you love me?", that definitely wasn't on my plans... I mean, I liked Jude, but, LOVE? I didn't have IDEA of the meaning of LOVE, it was an unknown word for me. And for worst, the song we were listening to, was MY song, "Tangerine" by Led Zeppelin... That was all a fucking trap. A perversion, I... I, I mean, he was catching me, AGAIN. And, HE was the cause of the break with Tommy last week. (Of course, now you're getting it, aren't you? Do you remember? The guy I talked to in the party... Yes, the guy, was Jude. I had a romance with Jude, long time ago... He is three years older, so he likes adventures, so much.)Oh yes, Jude was the perfect drug for me... He had it all: he was handsome, with a lot of attitude, good at sex, and over all that, he was a rocker. I loved being with him, but when he started talking about LOVE, I began to be afraid.

If... You mean, if I love you?-I said, almost stammering.

Well, yes... You know, do you love me?-He said. And I didn't knew if he was talking seriously or if this was one of his mind games.

Well, yes... I guess. You're my friend, you're always there for me when I need you.

Tange, a "friend"? You don't fuck with your friends, do you?-Well, I actually did fuck with some of my friends...But well, this was getting to nowhere... What did he want to tell with all these rodeos?

Tange...

Yes?-This time I talked whispering.

What are we? We're not friends, we're more than that, and you know it.-Alright, this was already too much.

What do you want me to say Jude? I'm not gonna say the word "boyfriends". We're not boyfriends, you know it, don't you?.-Yes, I was hysterical by that moment.

Hey, calm down. I didn't say anything. No, we're not boyfriends... We're lovers, and I want this to never stop, Tange.-Yeah, that was totally the things I wanted to hear... Wasn't it?
Well, Jude... This isn't going to last forever, you know... We are rockers, we've got our lifes, with different people... We can't meet to have sex for the rest of our lifes.
OKAY, another stop. What the fuck was I saying? UH? You know, this is one of the things I hate from me. I don't know what the hell I want. I'm so stupid, Jude was GREAT! And I liked him as a fuck buddy... Why was I saying those things? I mean, I don't really need to be TOTALLY FREE AS A BIRD, yeah, I need my freedom, but... losing a fuck buddy is not freedom, losing a fuck buddy is foolish.
Wow... What do you mean, Tange?-I really used to love the way he called me "Tange".
I...I, you know...different choices, different ways in life.-All I gotta say about that is "UH?". What the fuck?!
Tange, are you telling me... this is OVER?-The way he said "over" would do something in my head... I mean, I had to react! My God!
No...er...No, I didn't say that, Jude... I like to be with you, I really do.-Here comes the big liar.-I guess you became a part of me... Like if you and I were one, you know, the same person... I've never met someone like you, Jude, you're perfect.
What the fuck are you saying Tangerine?!-That was a strange reaction, I wasn't expecting that.-Wha,what... That we are one? What's happening to you?!
Wait, wait, wait Jude. I was poetically speaking, not the way you think!-Oh shit, this was out of control, Jude was extremely strange, he was a mind totally hippie and free. With no problems, and no setbacks...Untill he found ME, the problematic girl, the misunderstood, the crazy without a piece of mind... In order, me, Tangerine.
Tange, you've said it... This is not for more, I'm gonna leave you baby.-Oh fucking shit! No, do you know what that means? "I'm gonna leave you baby", Led Zeppelin.- I should have quit you baby, long time ago.-Led Zeppelin once again.-Goodbye Tange.-He got up from bed, got dressed, and he left my department. Forever.
And I don't have recent news from him. My best friend, the great lover... Jude.

By Morena Tangerine Romero.-

The Lion Queen, Going round the concrete jungle I: Tommy

Explain yourself... -he said- And you really gotta tell me the truth.

I just started thinking, remembering all the things I did the night before, asking myself... Was this the situation I was looking for?

I'm still here, waiting! -He said. And this time, he wasn't anxious, he was pissed.

I... I don't know what to say... You told me to do what i wanted, and i did. -I said, a little afraid, i wasn't going to accept his preaching.- You know I'm impulsive, I did what you told me to do... Don't know how I got to that party, and I don't really know how I started talking with him!

He looked at me like a jealous father. The moment turned uncomfortable, I didn't know which way to run. The only thing I could do, was keep talking with him.

Look, this was a mistake, okay? You've done worst things, and I've never reproached anything to you... so, let's calm down, go round city, let's take a breath, and... well, you can do whatever you want, I'll do the same.

Are you talking serious?! -He said, and looked at me with a disbelief face.

Yes... er... no, i mean... yes. -I was totally busted. What was I going to say to him? He was extremely mature, I was just a sixteen-years-old girl, and nothing more.-

I can't believe what you're saying. Am I that bad?? Do I hurt you? I mean, I'm with you, because I really want to. -I couldn't stand looking at his face, I felt embarassed.- Look at me when I talk to you! -Okay, that was a little bit extreme, he took me by the arm and started pulling me around, as if I was a little girl that couldn't understand a word he was saying.-

OKAY, OKAY, stop that! I'm listening to you! I'm not stupid! -I felt a little pissed by the way he was talking to me.- Come on, you're a big boy, aren't you? It's time for you to stop being such a Cupid. I care about you, I really do, but I'm not in love with you. Can you understand that?

-Oops! That was totally terrible! I didn't mean to be so bad. That part of me was creepy.-

Okay... You know?... I gotta run right now, we'll talk about this other day. -And a tear fell out from his beatiful eyes.- My friends, the ones you hate, are waiting for me to have dinner... So, I'll see you later. Bye. -He kissed me on the cheek.-

And well, that was the last time I saw him. You can say I'm an idiot, a hysterical, whatever you want... But, I wasn't prepared to be with a guy, knowing that I would make him cry, or feeling bad. It was sad, really sad, but I guess it was the right thing to do. Don't you think?

By Morena Tangerine Romero.-